My greatest faults

20 Jul

It is probably very unmanly, unfeminine and unhero

 to claim up to my faults, but here I go. I know there are many of them-trust me, I try to fix them and fail so many times…a DAY!

But, realizing them, and trying to fix them is A step.

Of all my shortcomings, there are 2 that really sting every time I realize I am guilty of them. They are horrible and act as catalysts for all my other horrible traits.

PITY. It is so much easier to make me cry about me life than to laugh about it. For the most part, I am a very happy, optimistic, energetic person. But if someone steers a conversation towards how my life really is, wow, does the negativity bubble up. My life has been absolutely amazing! Everything I set my mind to works out. Why then, do I poison myself with such pity, self doubt? To say the least, it’s annoying to listen to!

ENVY. I am always comparing myself to others. Yes, I know that we were all made unique, and are loved for who we are, but that is so hard to remember when I feel I don’t measure up. I am proud of who I am (that may sound very egotistical, but honestly). I am happy of what I have been able to accomplish and wouldn’t want to trade it for anything else. Yet so many times I find myself thinking “what if” “that’s not fair.”

Well tough. There they are. It is who I am. Yet, from now on, I will try my hardest to do everything I can to steer away from these emotions.

I spend a summer with a friend who had the word “surrender” tattooed on her wrist. And that sums it all up. In the end, our whole lives are up to someone else. The great navigator knows what to do with you, and trying to live up to some other mortal is just pointless.

Aim higher!

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