“Marriage is a friendship recognized by the police.” Robert Louis Stevenson
Study after study shows that the happiest couples in bed are Christians. Why is it then that a Catholic man is ashamed to hold his wife’s ass in public?
Sexuality is one of the most beautiful, precious, sacred joys that the Church has to offer, yet its bloody history has plagued the thought of it so much, making it taboo to speak of, leaving people guilty for seeking it.
Not that this is any surprise considering the early days of the Church. Many disciples preached abstinence – a historical shift from any matrimony tradition, both religiously defined or humanly practiced. What may have started off with innocent intent has cloaked the Church to this day.
The intentions of St. Peter may have been good, but the repercussions are hard to undo. He was so enthusiastic about the second coming that he dissuaded people from getting married in order to save time and energy. Why waste those moments, when there is no such union in heaven, when you could be using that time to convert, evangelize and prepare yourself? However, his words resonated and negatively tinted the whole relationship. He shows marriage as a weakness and a submission to passion, urge and desire.
The original definition of finding the other half, being more complete, more holy was painted over by this new image of uncleanliness and sin.
History also misunderstood and misinterpreted the writings of St. Jerome, claiming he rated sexuality. He tried to clarify by sanctioning the goodness of marriage, but is was too late. No matter how he meant it, or how society understood it, the very fact that sexuality and virginity were compared and judged by a respectable figure puts it to question and makes people hesitant about the purity of their actions.
Of course these teachings were practical when placed in context, but they turned something natural into something wrong, tempting, guilt ridden.
Since then, no one has been able to support the beauty of it and send a message strong enough to make it main stream.
The early Church was so scared of the abuse of sexual power, yet instead of teaching the beauty and right intent, they buried and suppressed it entirely so they would not have to deal with it.
During the formative years of the Church, this is the message that they were sending out, and it stuck.
So the poor man, who loves his dear wife will not caress her in public out of fear and misunderstanding.
The reality is that sexuality in itself is not sinful. The true love in a marriage, with all the sex that is rightly a part of it, simply goes far beyond it.
Beyond desire and devotion, yet including them both, comes friendship, the love by which two people belong, as it were, to one another, sharing in something as equals. The foundation of friendship may be a common occupation or interest, but no foundation is so deep and lasting as a whole life shared in common, the life of marriage that gathers in the everyday joys and worries and humours as well as the greater concerns of love, birth, death, grace. Sex love at its best is such a friendship, including but also surpassing the primary bodily and biological relationship. TG Wayne
It’s a love story of two best friends.